Thoughts of A Healing Wound

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How to find words to express a broken heart? Right now, all I know is: If I don’t find a way to express my spirit, I might lose myself to insanity. I’ve experienced pain before, but not this much bitterness. Has this been inside me all along? All the anger I can’t seem to get rid of…

Like a bomb, long forgotten after the war cooled off. I wonder how many of them are still in the minefield of my heart. I might let one explode, just so all of them explode at once.

For I fear more my anger than the damage the explosions may cause me.

It’s been a while since the lips smiled out of pure joy. The gaze seems to be lost in nothingness. And the heart feels cold, stiff and darkened.

I try and I don’t comprehend where I turned the wrong corner and fell back into the pit. Where did the cycle began to repeat itself again? Where was I?

I picked myself up every misadventure in which I found myself broken and dismantled like an old doll. This time though, I look around and I see an overwhelming puzzle, not knowing which piece goes with which.

Though I’ve come to realize some miracles do not happen externally, through divine intervention only… Some are much more like the blossom of shy flowers.

Because underneath all these dense layers of an infuriated and fragile ego, a sweet essence remained. The essence’s soothing voice whispering me magic. A voice I’ve known before. It has always told me words of love, of a love I have never layed my eyes on. But the voice consistently whispered it to be true. That somewhere in this universe love stories are not only being written, but also lived to the fullest.

It is this voice, this essence that gives life to what was thought to be nothing more than a doll…

A wound to ignite this miracle.

The miracle of a transformation.

A doll turning into a real human.

Only through the human eyes one can see the true colors of real love.

Nida B. 🖤

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