Forgive Me

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I dedicate this to him…

And if he could see this I wish he would forget for a couple minutes about what I once represented to him in his life and sees this as a message from his own self.

Forgive me for not being kind enough with my own self.

Forgive me for not hearing the heart screaming out for help and love.

Forgive me I didn’t give enough credit for the true pain that was lying in the depths of my heart.

A heart that got discarted by others, it got ripped apart and I did try to stitch the pieces back together, but I can see that it keeps bleeding badly.

No one sees how bad it hurts… look… it is bleeding on my hands and the sweet agonizing pain won’t stop.

They don’t see what the external world did to my heart, soul and mind…

What do I do? How do I make this pain go away? There may be others around me, but I’m alone in here…

They tell me that loving myself is the only way out, but they don’t understandIt’s too dark for me to see…the tears of all the years I’ve been in pain blurr the way…

The wounds are too deep and time isn’t healing…she only keeps bringing them back and doesn’t understand my fears.

Year after year seeing the worst this world has to offer…everything good was taken away from me.

Scared…Afraid…if I let someone in…should I trust…but they will take everything I have and leave me in pain again.

It seems like there’s no escaping…red eyes staring at me…they are all around me right now…piercing through my soul….fear…loss…not good enough…rejection…left aside…invisible…anger…confusion…humiliation…hate…abuse…judgement…shame…vulnerable…(1)

Or should I keep these figures around….to remind me what the world is capable of doing…

Or should I….. try to reach for the little white flower next to me in this dark place…the red eyed shadows try to take me down for moving towards the flower….

Before they could take control over me….a light shines from above sending the creatures away long enough for me to touch the white flower.

The flower then turns into a beautiful tree and everything around me starts to bloom and shine brightly.

Instead of lava and chaos a crystal clear river flows around me and the tree.

The shadows are gone and I hear voices chanting beautifully. Keeping now my place of safetiness protected from the darkness.

Perhaps my true essence was the little and delicate white flower….

I finally came to understand the pain his life brought to him…

A beautiful and sensitive person that saw beyond what others couldn’t.

A heavy burden to bear at a young age.

Exactly like the souls that come to this world to find a way through challenging life experiences….

Your heart has been seen…and you are loved. Forever. For true love is simply immortal.

Which brings me to the image I chose for this post. To me it’s the perfect representation of what the warrior and healer souls go through.

If we look at this image we may think this could be a nice metaphor for when the external world hurts us.

The little man overcoming the wrath of the dragon represents us. As little and weak as it seems compared to the dragon it can stand against it, so maybe comparing ourselves with others is just so useless because we might not be aware of how much valuable and stronger we are when we believe in ourselves and embrace our true nature.

However, in my opinion the most important interpretation we can take from this image is that we can also be represented by the dragon itself. Negatively or Positively.

Some people become that dragon against themselves when the world tries to burn them down to ashes, we end up to believe in all the lies (1) they have told us and the insecurities (1) they installed in our hearts. None of it truly belongs to who we really are.

But notice that we can also become the dragon on a higher purpose. When it’s our soul trying to force a rebirth of the true self after years of traumatic experiences. So don’t give up just now…let the flames purge the shadows from the past traumatic experiences that cling to you and rise from the ashes….it’s our soul urging to bring forth our true self.

Be your own Dragon and burn down the shadows of the false self this world brutally tried to turn you into and free ourselves from all the burdens and abuse.

Believe.

Bia.

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